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I have been online dating for about two months and it’s been so-so thus far. I’m 5’3″ and an hourglass-ish size 10, so while I’m not obese, I’m definitely not “athletic and toned.” I chose pictures that I think accurately show this.
Well, you touched on it yourself, Nicci, in your email. Women know that men prefer thin, so they adjust their descriptions accordingly. Better photos, better essays, better usernames, better email technique.
In their attempts to be honest (but not scare off men), women will click on descriptors like “a few pounds extra”, “curvy”, or “voluptuous”. Men have learned to mistrust these body types, and therefore only look at women who are “firm and toned”, “slim/slender”, or “athletic”. Do everything 25% better and it can make a remarkable difference in your life.
And when the slightly overweight woman shows up on a date with a man who was expecting “athletic”, both parties are in for a night of disappointment. First of all, I think that’s a problem that’s more in your head than in reality. Still, no matter how much rebranding we do, life is still not going to be fair.
This is the online dating dilemma that faces MILLIONS of people each day.
If I’m a 5’4” man, I know that it’s going to be hard to get a date if I tell the truth.